The stars are a maze here, so far north, and even the moon seems to have shifted her place in the sky. I can never guess teh time, and sometimes I feel myself quite lost. But there are plenty of reminders around me: I’m not lost, I’m right here, and I’ll get to where I want to go if I just wander around a bit, and this is a very plesant place for wandering. It was lovely to have an eternal spring for a winter, but witnessing the birth of a non-eternal spring – this awakening from dark winter, the sun’s promise kept – this is deeply beautiful. It is a city, with all the filth that a city implies. But there is also a tenderness to it; the rhythm that moves this place is more of a heartbeat than the gears of a machine. If I sit in a park, away from the traffic, I can feel this place smiling. Everyone wishing for love because there’s so much of it floating around that it reminds them that it could be more! closer! stronger! Everyday more flowers, every morning sweeter the symphony of birds. Each week another layer of clothing is shed so that now dressing is only an act of modesty. In the country I’m sure it’s like this but better – a purer version of this spirit. There would be sheep there – truly a pastoral scene, something directly from my dreams. But I don’t fret about that; I feel no urgency in my pursuits. My only struggle is to remember my dreams, to remain lucid as I navigate the wonders of this world, to not confuse this city’s heartbeat, organic as it may seem, with my own. The time I have is limited, I know, but I also know that the limitation is tied more to the strength of my spirit than the strength of my body. And I am learning how to feed my spirit what it needs to be strong. In another life I was a teacher. Not so long ago, but so far away. The lengthening days then meant a bit more sunny time between when I finished working and when I went to sleep so I could work the next day. Those were alos beautiful days – it’s not that I’ve only just discovered beauty. But perhaps I have only just discovered wealth. Finally I need so little, and suddenly I have so much. My heart has not yet achieved the purity it desires, but each time I look in the mirror I see someone doing a better and better job of being me.
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3 comments:
how beautiful that you are able to describe your surroundings so well. I am surprised to see that you are so content in a large city. It intrigues me to find out more about Denmark and this Copenhagen city it has! Thanks for sharing.
Hey, stumbled into your blog looking for finca limon's e-mail. I've seen you there once, we've been jamming or else talking about music. t'was one of your last days there, and I might be remembered by an enormous beard. Now reading this last post of your's is really inspiring, strong, clear.
One should not feel sorry if later it seems like one's loosing it, it's in the nature of the game that the deeper the insight, the more difficult to live up to it. Difficult, but worthwhile still.
You're surely on the way.
Jens
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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